i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
