508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he shaved USA in his pubs
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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