we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
