YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
