I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
