Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
