Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
