I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
