So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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