There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
