Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
