nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
did i just pee glitter
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
