I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
