I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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