sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
