I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
