She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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