What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
