the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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