They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
