Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
