She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
