I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
