Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
