Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
