when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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