Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
