The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
