ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
