My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
