If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
