One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
