he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
