remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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