just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Welp...herpes.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
