Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
