the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
