So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
