Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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