Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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