I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
