I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
