Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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