My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
