There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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