Pappa wants mamma naked
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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