Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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