Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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