Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
