he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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